2009-11-05 - 8:16 p.m.
I've become (slightly) more patient with things.....I've learned to slow down....things are changing and thats a good thing. my old self is re-emerging, I'm less anxious and less self conscious....I'm doing things for myself again. the hardest part through all of this is letting go and it sucks it has taken me so long. Letting go of the hurt, the anger, the bitterness. it does no good to keep wondering why and I'm excited to look towards the future. to shake off the past. I'm ready. oh, and the roommate paid me. oh, and he's cleaning my house! and he's not getting mad at me for not keeping up with it. I love it! lol no ties. dont expect me to keep up with it, I would have before then but obviously I didnt because I hate cleaning. I love the saying "I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning, but just not as it applies to me"!! totally true.... I'm glad he doesnt complain and that he just cleans when he wants to. He even bleached my floors! like, got on his hands and knees and cleaned my floors. that is soooooooooooooooo not fun for me, I HATE cleaning so lets hope that he doesnt begin to start asking me. I'd have to tell him that I have this disdain for cleaning, its right up there with doing the dishes of which I already avoid like the plague. and that it would be in his best interest to not get me involved. haha.
I quit Spring Harbor....officially.... another chapter closed. another good positive step. many people wondered why I held on to the job so long since they knew I hated it. it wasnt just for the money, it was to get away from the negativity at home. in the last 6 months, I worked three times, and that was because another friend of mine was working them too. but I realized I dont have to do it anymore so I finally resigned. it feels good to let go. its cleansing, and I need that.
my independent job (the one where I was independently hired to work with a behaviorally challenged teen) is going oh so well. I'm now getting more hours with it, I'm up to 8. I like working for Providence way too much though to want to cut back there. the support is incredible and there's great knowledge and experience there. whereas with my independent job, its like I'm teaching even all the other providers how things should be going. I'm in love with what I do and I love the challenging families, they teach Me things every day just as they learn from me.
I'm in a good place right now. I dont think I mentioned that I went to see a psychic the other day....more like 3 weeks ago now, but anyway. very powerful, let me tell you about it. I never used to believe in that stuff, and/or I was too scared of it. now though, I believe its true. I'll name off key points;
-said I should be in the healing profession, and that if I slow my mind down and pay more attention to my dreams and intuition, I could help peope with my hands.
-she said she sees me swimming with the dolphins next year and that because of whatever happened 15 years ago the experience will cleanse all that.
-working with a set of twins is important and for some reason she mentioned it.
-march is an important month and she says the targeted case management position happens during then.
-I'll come into a small increase in money.
-I wont have a romantic relationship until the summer, with somebody I've never met, who is in the medical/health field and will be coming from a family of 5....
-I wont find my soul mate til I'm 33.....it'll be after I meet someone named Zoe......(dun dun duuuunnnn).
-oh, and that Im not over the heartbreak Michelle put me through. and that she's going to try to get back with me.....and that it will be very difficult for me.
-last thing she said was that I was going to be bitten by a blonde girl with a lack of communication skills....
let me tell you what has come true so far; the small increase in money came true..... being bitten by a blonde girl with poor communication came true--my white (blonde) girl ferret bit me! She has communication issues! the psychic never said she was human! and seriously, who just says things like that and then by "coincidence" it happens. thats just too big of a coincidence and so far so good as to the things she said and the things that have come true so far. its intense.
anyway, thats it. it had been a while since I last updated, and I think I've come a long way. you should be proud of me since my life fell apart 6 months ago. I'm now doing rather well. (o:
